Last Blog

I believe this blogging project has created a new community relationship within our class. In English this semester, we have has many discussions and opportunities to hear each others opinions and ways of thinking. Because I am so quiet in class, I rarely spoke out, I would make legit comments to peers around me and moments later another class member would express exactly what I was thinking, this made it even easier for me to not participate. But in this project, I was able to express myself without feeling judged or put down. It was a way that we could get to know each other on a more personal level, and become friends or acquaintances rather then just classmates. While, my blog was more of just a journal of my thoughts and feelings, it was helpful to me to get those feeling out in the open and realize that I am not the only one experiencing the feelings.
It was very enjoyable to read about the happenings of others and the new, cool and exciting things they were participating in. Some educational, some sports updates, some just fun events in life and sometimes we found ourselves giving each other support as we were working on projects, or just trying to make it through school until spring break.
Blogging could be a good way for one experiencing difficult times could seek help and acceptance from others going through similar situations. I think a lot of times people have emotions and events in life and are unsure as to how to handle them, but with the Internet, they can seek advice in ways that are not as frightful. One can be anonymous, or be whoever they want to be without the fear of being belittled. Virtual communities can help anyone, as long as they do not completely lose grasp of reality and physical and emotional contact with the people surrounding them.
Though this experience was a different assignment from anything else I have ever done in a class, it was full of learning. I learned that it is easier to write my feelings than speak them and I can get to know people online. I do feel that while online communities are beneficial to ones life, I could not survive with Internet alone. I still need the love and compassion from friends in person. I need hugs and facial expressions that let me know that everything is alright and it will all work out.

Ready to be DONE

After spring break, going home this past weekend, leaving again this week and with all the papers and studying I need to do, I am stressed out and wanting to give up! I am sick of researching, I am burned out, like to the point where I just cant think any more. I am sure many are feeling the same way too. I keep procrastinating, yet I have to work under some sort of pressure or I just wont do anything.
While I want it to be over, I am really not ready to work full time this summer or live in the DEATHLY heat in Phoenix! And the thought of being without most friends for 3 or 4 months just doesn't sound fun at all!!!
So this was yet again another random ramble from Joanna.
Good luck on papers (especially English argument paper!!) and finals! It will soon be over!

Freshman Year Flyin' By

It seems like it was so recently that I was packing up my room and life moving up to Flagstaff for school and now I fend myself packing up to go back home to Phoenix. Where did all the time go?? In the beginning when I missed everyone back home the weeks were so long and I just yearned to be home with family. Then Christmas break rolled around and I was ready to go back to school 2 weeks into break because I just missed friends and the cool weather. Its funny to think that I went 18 years without knowing these friends and now I rarely go a day without talking to them and Ireall cant imagine life without them.
As the end of my first year of college is coming to an end, I am super excited yet torn with mixed emotions. I am stressed out with numerous papers, assignments, exams, projects, housing for next year, work, figuring out next years schedule plus spending my last month with friends....some I will see in August and some I do not know when I will see again. I have lived with these friends for months know, we are so close almost like a family away from home. One friend in particular, I dont know what I am going to do without her. Shes one of the closest friends I have who is always here for me, I can tell her anything and everything. To think I wont get to see her bright smiling face and hear her silly comments and advice everday, it is going to be a tough change. We have done so much together like homework, baking in the kitchen, sleepovers, hikes, random trips to the store, staying up way late being random and laughing about nothing and everything, most meals we have together and so much more. As the end comes near, we avoid talking about it because its so hard, but not talking about it doesnt make time stop, its coming fast. Planning a road trip to Colorado sometime in the future and phone calls just are not enough, I am going to miss her like crazy!!!!
Court I love you and I am going to miss you SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! I cant even describe it!
I love you to infinity and beyond!

SkyDome

This year I have worked at the Walkup SkyDome here at NAU. At first it sounded like such a neat job....now, I am so glad to be almost done. It has taught me a lot and I have met many friends, but really it is in many ways a no fun job. I get paid to watch sporting events, take tickets and check bags, act as security, sit at a desk and answer phones, watch kids who have parents that dont pay attention, stand in one spot for 6 hours or more straight, and finally clean up after the many slobs that eaves disastrous messes in the stands. First of all, I am a girl and many people will look at me, sometimes not even listen to me, and automatically decide that what I say the rules are do not matter. This upsets me because if a male SkyDome worker says the same exact thing, they will listen. Then, I cant stand being bored and not doing anything. At the dome, thats all we really do.....a whole lot of hurry up and wait, and just stand there watching people. Then after trying oh so hard not to fall asleep, we have to hurry up and pick up all the trash, then sweep every row, and then finally mop all the spills and stairs. This takes so much time, especially when it would be so easy for people to just throw their own trash away and be careful not to spill. Long hours at the dome are just not incredibly fun. Especially during 3A basketball when the whole Reservation is closed so they can all come watch basketball and trash the dome, so not fun. And then Home Show, we spend hours upon hours between classes and late into the night dealing with cranky people loading in random items again making a mess of the stadium and complaining to us over stuff we have absolutely no control over. These long hours just do not seem worth the pay. But I do love the friends I have made and I have learned to be extra careful to not spill or make messes in public areas in order to make workers jobs easier. And I have learned to work better with lazy people....drives me crazy yet I can tolerate it because, some days I too feel lazy at the dome.
But I am almost done forever! I just finished Home Show, I don't work all of April, then I have to work Graduation and then I will be done!!!!! I cant wait!

missing out

Being away from home has been such a great experience, even with all the tough times. My family has changed so much without me there. I love hearing about all they are doing, yet hearing about it makes me miss it more. I really just miss all the love and hugs. Lately I have just been in need of a big Dad "Bear hug." Hearing "I love you" on the phone, just doesn't seem like enough all the time. They say the house is so empty and incomplete without me and it just makes me laugh, never realized how lively and talkative I was until I am gone. But being ways when there are tough times at home, is super rough for me.
My mom had surgery this past week, and with her being in pain and unable to drive the my siblings to various places for there wild school, sports, rehearsal, work and church schedules, she becomes frustrated. When the house gets out of control and messy, she becomes upset. Hearing her vent on the phone and knowing she is going absolutely crazy, makes me sad. I want to be there helping, cooking meals, playing taxi and cleaning.
Dad has been doing lots of projects around the house and our huge yard, and he is doing it without his number one helper. I used to complain about helping, now I just wish I could be doing work in the yard and spending time with him. I have talked to him lots this week because he is just trying to help Mom be happy and he feels like he is failing. Thats tough, I had no idea what to tell him....he is the big macho one that I think can do anything! I am just a college student, how am I supposed to help him or give him advice!?!? Gotta love him!
Having my 16 year old sister or 12 year old brother call upset about life happenings, is heart wrenching. I am 2 hours away and powerless, I cant help them in any other way but listen to them, and assure them that I love them and everything will be ok. All I really want to do is give them big hugs and take them out to distract them and just have fun alone bonding time. I miss them so much! I have always loved picking them up from school and hearing about their days, friends long list of homework. My sister is like my other half, and I feel so incomplete without her and being the first to hear everything!!!My brother has his first Baseball game of the year this week, and he is pitching for the first time.....and I am missing it. I cant believe it, but I will be home for next weeks games. I missed his choir concert last week, and I missed 3 of my sisters choir concerts. My brother has the lead in the school Musical for the 3rd time in a row this year and I cannot wait to see it in April! He will be Willy Wonka! That really makes me laugh, because its going to be so cheesy compared to all of the other productions he has been in, but oh well it will be fun to see.
So, as I ramble about their happenings, I cant help but be stoked to be home for an entire week with them and a family vacation to California! It will be amazing!

Procrastination

I have stayed on top of my work, homework, studying and all responsibilities for my whole life with little procrastination. Suddenly, I have been procrastinating way too much. These past few weeks have been terrible, I went from being so busy with little time to do homework in the wee hours of the night/morning , to lots of free time which gives me the option to put off homework and reading. So, like all of you, I have my synthesis paper to write tonight, but most people have probably put lots of time into it and me, no not yet I am like wandering around having fun and wasting time waiting for an epiphany to write it.
Plus the weather has been so beautiful, all I want to do is be outside running! Yesterday we went to Sedona and went hiking. It was 75 degrees outside and perfect. We had such a good time, yet all I could think about was the paper I needed to write and how I just kept putting it off. Today I have worked out, taken friends to and from work, gone to church, made puppy chow, gone to the store 4 times, made cookie dough and now I am watching Wedding Crashers while doing homework. Its such a good movie how am I supposed to get anything done, I should just turn it off and now I should just stop rambling.
College has been so fun and I am learning so much and enjoying most moments of it......other than the boring homework parts like writing papers.
Ok I am going to quit procrastinating now and go finish my paper, hope it turns out alright, then again its only a Draft.

Blogging Beginnings

So this begins the adventure of posting my thoughts, experiences and ideas on the web for people to read and hopefully be triggered to think, give me advice....or atleast laugh. As to what I will have to say or think each week, who knows, so hopefully I will experience new exciting and different things that I will be able to write about.
My first Semester at NAU was absolutely amazing. It was better than I thought it could be and I made the greatest friends and was blessed with a great roommate who I have grown very close to. All semester I saw problems in other relationships and with other friends and was so happy that I did not have any problems, but this semester things have changed. My world has, in a way, flipped upside down. I cannot handle all the drama with the girls in the dorm. I am the nice girl who listens to everyone and will go out of my way to do anything for anyone, but now I am realizing that people are walking all over me and using me and then when I need them, they are not there. I don't want to be selfish but I feel like I give, give, give and get nothing in return. I never have any "me time." I have this friend who is wanting to control me and I need her to back away and let me live. For example, this friend thinks her way to live life is the only way to live and doesn't always respect my opinions, lifestyle and morals. So when she disagrees with something I do, then she becomes angry with me.
How can I still be the nice Joanna and please, help and love friends while trying to be separate from them and not succumb to their control or drop to their level of immaturity.